When we consider what the trauma response can look like, we have to keep in mind the lengths we will go to to avoid it. Having an overactive trauma response is like having a sensitive alarm system that alerts you to a fire when it’s just moisture in the air or when you burnt the toast a touch and having this experience all the time. In fact, my partner jumped out of bed and ran right into the wall. In the middle of the night, the smoke alarm went off, and we were sure the house was on fire. One night we unknowingly put the humidifier right below the smoke alarm. What does it mean to have an overactive trauma response or a sensitive alarm system? It means that instead of only reacting to real danger (both physical and emotional), the alarm system may perceive danger when there isn’t any, or it prompts a response that is disproportionate to the perceived threat.Ī few years ago, we had a humidifier set up in our bedroom to combat the cold, dry winter we were experiencing. It keeps them safe, but it can also make it difficult to function daily and engage in the world. However, some trauma survivors, including those who have experienced chronic abuse and neglect, may develop an overactive trauma response. These are all adaptive responses in the face of a traumatic experience. Fawning is immediately taking action to please to avoid the threat or conflict. The fight response is when we face a perceived threat aggressively, the flight response is when we run away from the danger, and freezing is when we are unable to move or act. These are unconscious and automatic, fast-acting physical responses. All are ways our body automatically responds to threats so that we can survive challenging situations. While you may be familiar with the fight, flight, or freeze responses, some theorists also include the fawn response. What these experiences have in common is that they prompt a trauma response in the body. And like with most things, there aren’t just two categories but a spectrum of traumatic experiences, all of which can negatively impact one’s mental health. Some studies indicate that emotional abuse and neglect may be more harmful long-term than physical abuse. These incidents can include painful interpersonal experiences, like rejection and emotional abuse, harassment, and microaggressions.

“Small T trauma,” which can be more challenging to capture, can be just as impactful. We now understand that trauma doesn’t stop there. For years, when we thought about or spoke about trauma, we referred to “big T trauma.” War, a plane crash, rape, and the sudden death of a loved one, are under this category. Trauma can be understood as an emotional response to a terrible event. We can’t talk about intergenerational trauma without first defining trauma. Those impacted by intergenerational trauma may share the symptoms, reactions, patterns, and emotional and psychological effects of trauma experienced by previous generations. Just as our definition of trauma has expanded, so has our understanding of intergenerational trauma. What is intergenerational trauma? Intergenerational trauma, generational trauma, transgenerational trauma, and multigenerational trauma all refer to the passing of trauma from one generation to the next. However, it is still being researched and understood, and there’s still a lot we are learning about it. Psychologists first conceptualized intergenerational trauma in the 1960s. When we were moving up that escalator, and I saw my own fear painted on my mother’s face, I realized that what I was experiencing was due to intergenerational trauma. I thought I had watched too many episodes of Law & Order SVU and Unsolved Mysteries (which may still be the case). Even before I had children, when I worked as a nanny, I would pay close attention to the location of every child in the park so if their caregivers were looking for them, I could point them in the right direction and ensure their safety. For years I have felt nervous when at the park or in a public space with my children, accounting for their every move. Looking at my mother and seeing the external expression of the anxiety I was experiencing internally made something click.

At that moment, I, too, had felt unnerved but was trying to self soothe and remind myself that I knew exactly where my daughter was beelining, that we would be reunited in moments. My mother started to panic and stormed up the escalator, muttering that someone would take off with my daughter. We were in a familiar store, and my 6-year-old went up the escalator ahead of us and then walked off. A few weeks ago, my mother accompanied my children and me on an errand.

Intergenerational trauma and parenting